I don’t want to die, I just don’t want to exist.
I’m suicidal but I don’t want to die

And these questions would eventually lead me to the question, do I really want to die?

The answer, deep down, was no. And so we held on to that to keep us going, that little glimmer of uncertainty every time we thought about ending life. If that tiny bit of unease was still there, there was a chance you are making the wrong decision.

Suicide thoughts are not mean i want to die. they are also:

  • I feel trapped
  • i am a burden
  • i see no future
  • what’s the point in life?
  • i need t escape my thoughts?
  • Nothing will get better

There was a chance that a part of you thought that things could get better. But it isn’t going to be easy. mind had been clouded by the anxiety, despair, monotony, and a relationship that was slowly destroying you.

It is completely normal to feel a variety of feelings, including confusion, loneliness, and apathy, when struggling with suicidal thoughts. Just know that you are not alone: seeking help can be the first step in alleviating the feelings and pressure of these thoughts.

A therapist or psychologist can teach you proven techniques to cope with suicidal thoughts and the issues that may be causing them and get you on the path to recovery.⁠